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Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

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Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 30/4/2015, 11:14

I, well he has, have decided to run for parliament. Based on the fact that he couldn’t do a worse job than the current bunch running for parliament. So here’s our manifesto.
1. Free cake for all
2. Free mashed potato for Welly’s wife
3. Warning labels to be removed from products, this will aid in population control as all the stupid ones will be dead in a week. Also will help the economy as funeral directors employ more people to deal with the surge.
4. Stop the cruel exploitation of small cat like animals selling insurance products.
5. Ban PPI and legal companies ringing people randomly.
6. Mime artists to be thrown in the nearest scorpion pit
7. Anyone who is famous for being either a loud mouth tw@t, once appearing on TV, being in a stupid friggin TV program about some wa@nk3rs in Essex and anyone else pee’s me off will be sent to France.
8. Indy will be minister for immigration
9. Angelis will be minster for hunting those down who break item 7, lethal force is authorised.
10. Welly will be minister of tea bags, again lethal force is authorised.
11. It shall be illegal for anyone to post on Facebook asking for a like or a share in order to A. Cure cancer, B. help people in other countries or other BS.
12. Those who post pictures of their meals on any social media platform shall be made to run two miles in custard filled pants.
13. Constantly posting pictures of your baby on social media will result in you being made to wear the hat of shame. Note the hate of shame is a large wicker hat covered in plastic fruit with a large neon ‘TW@T’ sign on.
14. All hippies will be forced to wash.
15. All students will be made to wake up before 10.00am
16. Payday loan companies will be forced to borrow £50 off each other, they’ll soon go out of business.
17. Children will be taught how to fill in job applications, loan forms and other useful information and not how to work out the area of a rhombus.
18. Peaceful protesting is fine and will be encouraged. However if you turn up at a peaceful protest to break stuff and loot, then the government has the right to put you in stocks and have people throw rotten fruit at you followed by jail.
19. Adverts showing sick and dying people will not be shown at tea time, it puts me off my five course meal.
20. The punishment for animal cruelty will be, being covered in steaks and thrown in a shark tank.
21. People will be made to chill the f@@k out and stop getting offended by everything, man the hell up people.
22. TV adverts will be required to make bloody sense, not have some dippy twonk prancing about like a demented duck for 30 seconds trying to sell a cooker. We aren’t stupid, well some are but they’ll soon be gone.
23. Internet trolls – a crack team headed by Welly will hunt them down. They will be tar, feathered and tea bagged on live TV.
24. We will look to legislate for a minimum of 30 days of sunshine in the summer months, failure to provide the set number of days will mean the sun will have to pay a small fine.
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by Psyman on 30/4/2015, 12:40

i was with you until item 24 .. only 30days of sunshine . i require atleast 330 days of sunshine before i will vote for you
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 30/4/2015, 12:53

psyman you can be minister for sunshine and boobies
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by locknloadeire on 30/4/2015, 13:42

You had my vote at 'Free cake for all'......I'm easily pleased
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by DAVIDB67 on 30/4/2015, 16:26

What about Noel Edmunds? No mention of that Tw@t,my vote depends on it
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 30/4/2015, 17:54

@DAVIDB67 wrote:What about Noel Edmunds? No mention of that Tw@t,my vote depends on

Davidb is now minister of dealing with moel, leathal force is authorized and necessary it
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by DAVIDB67 on 30/4/2015, 18:17

Hell Yeah,I'll oil my pliers
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by heavytread on 30/4/2015, 23:47

I see no mention in your Manifesto about the problems of dealing with people who look at you funny? Also Seal clubbing, is it right that these marine animals are being served intoxicating drinks and being made to dance till all hours?

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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by Psyman on 1/5/2015, 06:51

the first person to put the 'new posts' button back up gets my vote
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 1/5/2015, 12:35

@heavytread wrote:I see no mention in your Manifesto about the problems of dealing with people who look at you funny?  Also Seal clubbing, is it right that these marine animals are being served intoxicating drinks and being made to dance till all hours?

people who look at Heavy funny will be made to read fifty shades of grey

Seal clubbing is hereby illegal, poor fluffy things
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by Tiger on 16/5/2015, 11:24

I wanted to see the political party broadcast video! Very Happy
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

Post by infernas on 16/5/2015, 11:52

cant be worse then the muppets in charge now
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Re: Vote for the Lord F’s political party at the election.

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